Monday, 18 February 2019

Why I Hate Telling People I'm Not Okay!



I honestly do not like telling people that I am going through a difficult time or that I'm not feeling well whether it's being caused by my mental health or my physical health. I know that everyone always says that it makes you feel better when you talk about things with someone be it a friend, family member or co-worker. However, their robotic and cliche responses always make me want to pull my hair out, so for me, it is never a good thing to do. I would rather tell them I'm doing fine because it saves me so much anxiety and frustration. In my entire life of living on this green earth, there has been only one person that has been able to say the right things in order to get me to a better mental space and that was my mother (bless her). Unfortunately, she passed away just over five years ago so that can no longer serve me. I feel so detached from the world, society as a whole, myself and just everything in general. It's almost as if all of that just left when my mom died. I can't for the life of me get it back no matter how hard I try. I obviously have a lot of self-searching to do and finding myself is going to be a painstakingly difficult thing to do but I know that when I get to that point where I know who I am and where I am going in life I will thank myself for it.
Now, the thing that pisses me off about peoples crappy advice is that it doesn't come from a place of pure love. Usually, they are just saying it so that you will shut up or go away. I mean, let's face it, "normal" people hate having to deal with our mental health meltdowns. So, if it doesn't come from a place of love then where does it come from? I'm assuming it's a learned response, something they have heard other people say, the usual things that everybody always says because that's "what works". ERm, no!!! No, Brenda, just going for a walk isn't going to fix years of trauma, emotional abuse and PTSD. Brenda FFS, yes other people might have it worse than I do BUT my depression, anxiety disorder and PTSD are still valid and hinder me from doing everyday normal adult things such as having a normal job, getting married, having lunch with friends (Wait, what friends?), starting a family, going shopping, driving a car, going out for drinks. These are such easy things that most people just grow into so excuse me for being upset when I struggle to do them while watching the world around me keep spinning.

THIS ONE IS MY FAVOURITE
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Every time someone says THIS ⇈ to me I achieve massive eye rolls. I swear I should be given an award for my talent in eye rolling! Firstly, if it were that easy for me I'm sure I would be doing it, wouldn't I?
















If only people would just not say anything rather than saying what they think you want to hear, am I right? How about giving someone the necessary tools in order to be able to have enough courage, motivation and self-confidence to leave the house, rather than just pushing them to leave the house. Teaching someone how to meditate so that their anxiety starts to melt away little by little. Showing someone some easy beginner yoga moves to release muscle tension and get the heart rate up. What about telling them that there's this neat little trick called EFT (emotional freedom technique) tapping that they can do for 20minutes every morning in order to release negative emotions and intrusive thoughts? I have never had anyone advise me on how I can do anything to build a bridge in order to cross the water, all they do is skip to the standing on the other side of the water part.




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